Karan Oberoi, better known as the member of the boy band “Band of Boys” has been arrested against a complaint lodged by his lady friend, who is a tantric and a healer by profession. As per my understanding they were in a relationship with mutual consent wherein RAPE is a very strong word to describe the nature of Karan’s behavioral pattern towards her. Karan’s lawyer and friends have come out in full support that the woman was not only possessive but obsessive at the level of showering lavish gifts on Karan and threatening him if he does not accept those gifts she would burn down those gifts in the lobby of his residential building. A series of Whatsapp messages from the lady to Karan Oberoi have also been published in an esteem daily where the lady wanted to indulge in pure sexual relationship or an one night stand with the accused without any strings attached or emotional bonding, to which Karan had replied he was too preoccupied with his work and physical intimacy was the last thing on his mind.
So did the Woman Scorned went ahead and lodged the complain based on pure vendetta because her insatiable libido was not met by Karan with the same urge or he did not jump at the first message and went to her like a puppet? I agree, there are producer director like the infamous brother of the famous A-lister choreographer turned director sister who deserves to be punished, but are all men are piranha in nature that they grab the first woman they feast their eyes on? Is it fair to generalize? When a man is accused his name, his identity, his family, his professional life entailing every details are publicized and never protected. His mother, his wife, his children and his career are all in a big time jeopardy, who takes accountability for that? But then even when a woman lodges a false invalid complain, her identity is protected with great care. If we are demanding for Gender Equality, Pay Parity, then we should practice what we preach, what happens to our sermons of EQUALITY slogans in these cases? Being a woman, I do understand and fully sympathize with women who have undergone sexual abuse and humiliation in the hands of major players which happen in every industry, let alone Bollywood or entertainment industry.
When METOO movement started gaining the momentum and inertia, I was extremely satisfied that at last we, women have started raising our voices against any kind of exploitation’s, it was such a gratifying feeling. Even I was subjected to harassment by a male boss of mine in 2012 and I had to literally call my husband to warn him to stay away from me, had it been 2018, I would have dragged his name and spoiled his reputation forever. Better late than never, women finally understood when to stand up for themselves and assert saying, “ENOUGH”. But sadly, this movement is being diluted by some women who are acting on issues which are baseless, random like having being rejected by their partner, who may not have found her compatible or desirable, but these women are responsible for diluting the movement with their selfish personal agenda. Live-in relationship or pre-marital sex is not an alien concept in 2019 and certainly in some cases the men might find out after spending a considerable amount of time with his partner that their marriage will not work, if at all they get married, so they do not want to stretch the relationship. Compatibility might be an issue or sometimes you just fall out of love. But then if a woman runs to the nearest police station hollering RAPE, which is UNFAIR. As He has enjoyed the physical intimacy, so have you, so where does RAPE come in? The Wikipedia defines rape as “Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person’s consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority, or against a person who is incapable of giving valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, has an intellectual disability or is below the legal age of consent”. But none of these clauses hold true in case of a woman who accuses a man of RAPING her when they both have indulged in sexual activity with mutual consent, being matured adults.
Dear ladies, do you have any idea how pathetic RAPE can be and its vexatious consequences a woman faces when she is violated? Her soul is scathed, maimed and mangled, her confidence, her self esteem, her self-respect are mutilated, she is mentally disabled for life, she fears for her life, she hides in the darkest corner of murk and gloom, the generosity of the harrowing experience devastates her life, and no light of the all those thousands of candles we march on with demanding justice can lighten up her life ever again. The society judges her, her closed ones judge her, she becomes objectified everywhere she goes – that is the distressing repercussions and ramifications of RAPE, so please don’t make this movement of justice for women a child’s play for your personal acrimonious scheme of things. I think one NIRBHAYA has taught the Nation how disquieting RAPE, which is a heinous crime, can be, please have a heart and don’t disrespect women who have undergone this physical trauma. You complain, the man gets arrested, but justice cries in obscurity.
A man is always lynched for the crime he may or may not commit. Karan Oberoi might have taken advantage of his partner, I am not sure. But I know that all men are not lecherous by nature. If a woman makes an advance and is snubbed by the man, she should not run to the nearest police station complaining that she has been raped with a commitment of marriage. If our judiciary system has given us rights to protect our reputation and dignity and bring the criminal under law, then let’s not misuse it. If as a woman you are involving yourself in consensual sexual relationship, it is not RAPE, it is some moments of pleasure you both have enjoyed, no crime in doing that. But if you are expecting that the next morning the same man will go down on his knees with a Tiffany box in his hands to propose marriage, lady, you are dwelling in La La Land, building your dream castle in air, because commitment is always both sided and if you have slept with the man without any commitment, kindly don’t change your stance next day. If he has enjoyed the physical proximity, so have you, do not deny that, at least not to yourself. Yes, if he has forced you and dragged you to the bed like Harvey Weinstein did with many Hollywood actresses who were minor in age at that time, then it is a serious crime and the man needs to be punished pitilessly. Then it is every woman’s right to knock the door of our legal system and not leave an inch to punish the criminal in the most Spartan way.
Karan Oberoi might or might not come out of this slur and smirch which have otherwise tainted his unblemished character so far, but looking at the present circumstances should we demand for “MEN TOO MOVEMENT”? Don’t MEN also deserve a fair chance of justice if he is innocent? Why do we always put our blinkers on and trust the complainant implicitly if she is a woman? The court of law need to hear both the parties without delaying in granting bails unnecessarily. That’s the least we can expect or do we need a Portia again to appear in the court dressed as a man to defend the accused man? I rest my case.