The Only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let me start with a few personality development skills or should I say tips.Be confident, improve your communication skills and dress up well, be optimistic, develop leadership qualities, adopt a good body language, be a good listener and inculcate good social skills.

Personality development cannot happen in a day, one has to continuously work on it. Enhancing on the above mentioned characteristics and attributes adds to an individual’s personality. You have to be your best motivator, everyone else is always present to critique you. If you don’t believe in yourself then no one else ever will. How we see ourselves is more important than how others perceive us!

In a room full of people you are likely to spot the one with a good appearance at first, but after entering into conversations with people around you’ll always remember the one who made a mark with their personality. Looks and appearances are temporary, persona lives forever. Crux is how you project yourself is more important than how you look, personality stands longer in the field than just a pretty face. Tips for building confidence, the first and the foremost is to believe in oneself, acknowledging self-uniqueness, moulding yourself  in order to fit in, or to be accepted, usually back fires. Since each of us is unique, expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting.

There is nothing more pleasing than having someone listen to you intently making you feel like you’re the only person in the world. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was considered one of the most charismatic woman in the world because she cultivated the skill of being an unrivaled listener. She was known for the way she would look a person in the eyes, hang on their every word, and make them feel important. Apart from being a good listener, be a good communicator. This relates to how much you read and know. Once you have much to contribute, learn how to talk about it with others. If you happen to be shy, join a group that encourages you to talk about what you know. Good and an approachable posture helps make even difficult communication flow more smoothly. Make sure you speak in a cooperative, non-adversarial tone. Be non judgmental.

You are carved out of your own experiences hence, you are the only person aware of your struggle and success then how can allow others to evaluate your worth. You are who you choose to be – a person of character, dignity and self-confidence which rests on the motto ” I aspire to be a better version of myself”. Confront your fears as succumbing to fear destroys your self confidence. We’re all afraid of certain things, they only help us grow out of our comfort zone. Our best experiences come out of victory over our fears. In a battle the one who is stronger mentally survives better than the one with physical strength. Fears are mental boundaries that make you believe you’re incapable of certain things, it’s all about conquering your mind and then you will see yourself conquering your fear. Put yourself out there! If you’re afraid to meet new people, attend social events, etc. – don’t stay home and fret. You’ll feel probably feel awkward the first few times , however, the more you do it, the more confident you’ll get, and therefore the better you’ll feel about yourself.

Finding your spiritual side is an important step in the journey of holistic Personality Development. Being kind and extending a helping hand to another in need is a very spiritual act. If you can selflessly help someone out, however trifle the thing maybe, it still boosts your awareness, peace and connectedness. Even if you do not believe that the Universe will repay your kindness three fold, you can still feel a sense of relaxation and fulfillment through acts of kindness. It is  essentially what a spiritual experience is all about! A really purposeful life is one in which a man discovers his supreme status; a life in which his personality makes manifest its unique distinctive quality.

And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

What you say is only the tip of the iceberg of communication. The rest lies in your body language. Many of our mannerisms are subconscious, and we also read other people’s mannerisms subconsciously. In fact, in the first two minutes of meeting somebody, your chances of remembering their name is slim, because your subconscious mind is busy evaluating that person’s body language and getting to know their personality that way. (So if you want somebody to remember your name, make sure you repeat it after the first two minutes of conversation; it drastically improves the chances.)

The first step to body language improvement is awareness. Start to pay attention to everything you do, and when you do it. The other day, I noticed I play with my earlobes when talking to certain people or about certain topics; with that realization I can better understand why I do it and what it means. Awareness is half the battle. Look at other people — especially people you admire. How do they hold themselves? What can you learn from them?

Many people find crossing arms or legs comfortable, so it’s noose to say you can’t do it. If you want to cross your legs, that’s okay; just be aware of the direction your cross them in, and make sure you cross towards the one your conversing with. Beware: crossing your legs in a “figure four” fashion with your ankle resting on your knee can be seen as being stubborn or arrogant.

Also, be aware of other ways of creating crosses with your body; women often grab their opposite shoulder or elbow, or people hold a drink on the table using the opposite hand: these are signs of a lack of confidence or closing your body (and mind) to the conversation.

Don’t Slouch Although sitting ram-rod straight might be a forced exaggeration, make sure you’re not slouching. Your back — and social life — will benefit.

Don’t Tilt Your Head (Too Much) Although a slight tilt of your head can indicate interest, too much of a head tilt (women are the main culprits for this) indicates submissiveness. Don’t squeeze the life out of your new acquaintance, but a nice firm handshake feels good. Holding your arms behind your back with your hands clasped is a sign of confidence. (It also provides you with something for your hands to do if you’re fidgety.  This is great for public speaking.) holding your hands in your pockets might be comfortable, but can also indicative of being bored or over-confidence.

I recently video taped myself doing a couple of introductions/interviews. I couldn’t believe some of the habitual body language things I was doing and had no idea I even did those things so often. I also used filler words when I spoke. Paying attention is what I do now to minimize the distracting actions.I think body language is actually even more important than what you say. The way you carry yourself and interact with others says a lot about the person you are, and how you view the world. With this article I hope I helped you look at yourself from your own perspective not to compete but to improve yourself.


About The Author: Neetu Bhandari: Life Coach And Motivational Speaker. She’s an active writer with her blog neetulifecoach.blogspot.com and momspresso.com and her short stories are being highly appreciated with a readership of around 6k in a short span of time. With 18 years of extensive experience in various capacities, initially started her career as a teacher, also worked with India Today for a short span of time eventually shifted to real-estate; worked with IREO and is currently working with an MNC, is also a social worker and a recently turned blogger/writer.


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